Earlier today I was casually lurking on Twitter, yes I lurk sometimes. Usually when I’m drinking my coffee/reading the morning paper or watching something I like on TV (or stuff like that). I’ll have my laptop open with Tweetdeck open and I’ll occasionally take a look at it to see if anything catches my eye. Well, I noticed an interesting exchange between @singlemom75 and @SingleGal. Singlemom75 tweeted in frustration about what she considered and inappropriate question that she was asked via email from a guy she met on OkCupid. Here’s the tweet: “OkC guy asked why the split…problems in bed? Um…really? That’s a top-3 thing to talk about on dating chat? I am SO not cut out for this!”
As I said, this caught my attention. I consider this a completely inappropriate question. Completely. Inappropriate. I probably would delete the message and stop communication with any guy who asked me why my last relationship failed and was it because the guy was bad in bed.
As far as I’m concerned, those emails, after you decide you like each other’s profiles, are for some low key flirting and minimal info gathering. It’s to give me a sense of someone’s boundaries (do they have any) and sense of humor. I don’t want to hear someone’s life story, not do I want to share mine.
Anyway, SingleGal had a very different take on the situation. Her reply – “interestingly I have been asked that a couple times on dates. I consider it an OK question. I’d probably ask it …”
Now, I freely admit that I suck at the question asking thing, and so maybe I just don’t have a good sense of what is and isn’t off limits. But I would think that that’s not a first date question. In fact, I’m 99% sure of it. Maybe after you’ve been out a couple of times and established some trust, but not until then. Right?
Or have I been drawing lines in the wrong places again?
Tags: nosy, questions, Twitter