At some point, out of the blue, he asked me what my ideal guy would be like.
I answered with a sigh and a softly uttered, “I don’t know”.
Because the truth is, I really don’t know. I’m positively mystified when I hear about women (or men, for that matter) who have long lists of must-haves for potential mates. I have no such list. Never have. It’s true that I’ve attempted to write lists for the sake of this blog but my heart was never in any of them.
I do have a list of things that I consider dealbreakers, but to be honest that list seems to be ever-shifting. A year (or even a month ago) I would have said that I’d never accept a date with a man who lived someplace other than NYC. Been there, done that, I know how it ends. But I have plans to meet a guy who lives far, far away later this week. Why did I change my mind? Because he seems like someone I’d like to meet. So maybe my dealbreakers aren’t really dealbreakers after all. Maybe they are just preferences that I’ll readily disregard when it suits me.
I wanted to give my friend an answer, so I did the only thing I could. I started with M and listed the things about him that worked for me. The things I’d like to find again, in someone new. And then I went through all of the things that didn’t work.
Like this but not like that. Trial and error.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure it was a pointless exercise, for me. One day I’ll meet someone who makes me smile all of the time. Or I won’t. And I don’t think it’s going to have anything to do with a list.
Tags: dealbreaker, Man