Yesterday I wrote about a conversation I had with a friend about my ideal man (and not a single one of you mentioned the picture of a robot I used to go with the post – it was a joke people, my ideal man = robot, sheesh). One of the many other things we talked about was my recent date with Mr. Midwest. It was our 3rd date. And it was fine.
We get along well. He seems to be a good guy. I have no reason not to be swooning over him. But I’m not. Swooning. I feel nothing.
Yet I’m dating him. I don’t know for how much longer. Especially since this is so clearly destined to turn into another one of my empty relationships.
I’m not sure how it happened but somehow I’ve mastered the 2-6 month empty relationship. The, we like each other and enjoy hanging out and having sex but neither of us sees a future, empty relationship. The ones where you’re both always polite and careful with each other’s feelings, you don’t exchange birthday/xmas gifts and you make sure not to get too close. The relationships that leave you feeling a little lonely, sometimes.
I seemed to have squeezed a whole bunch of those in in the last 5 years. Not because I wanted to. Most of the time I was thinking, maybe I’ll grow to really care for him. I thought that if I just went through the motions, my heart would follow.
But I’ve been down this road enough times to know. It shouldn’t take that many dates to decide if I care about a person. Or could care. If I’ve already spent more than 10 hours with a guy and I’m still not feeling anything for him, then I probably need to accept the fact that I never will. Spending another 10-40 hours with him, just to see if something eventually sparks is only going to lead to disappointment somewhere down the line.
Which leads me back to the beginning of this post. I probably shouldn’t see Mr. Midwest anymore. It’s probably not a productive use of my time or his. Probably.
Tags: Dating update, disappointment, feelings, guy, Relationships, sex