The first was with the one and only guy I met on Chemistry.com (yep, 3 months and I only met one guy). We were supposed to meet over a month ago and then I got sick. And then he was a away for a few weeks. And then I was away. I pretty much figured it was never going to happen, but sure enough, he got back in touch and we made it happen.
We definitely clicked in terms of sense of humor, hobbies and all that good stuff. But I’d be lying if I said I felt there was any sexual chemistry. He’s not the kind of guy who’s particularly forward (not that I wanted him to jump me on the first date, but he’s so buttoned up it’s hard to know if he’s interested), and in these situations I prefer to wait and see. I really suck at making the first move, actually. Who knows, maybe the chemistry is there, but just hiding? Anyway, he emailed me the next day and said he’d like to see me again and I’ve said yes. Hopefully we’ll go on a second date sometime this week and I’ll get a better sense of whether of not there’s any romantic potential with him.
The second date was the dinner date. That was pleasant, but also a little weird. First, it was weird because it felt so formal to be having dinner on a first date. I really do prefer drinks dates. And second, it was weird because he’s not the kind of guy I’d usually pick for myself. Rather, he’s the kind of guy my mom would’ve picked for me.
NOTE: A good rule of thumb in my dating life, thus far, is that I don’t click with guys my mom would’ve liked. In this instance, I’m trying to hold off judgment (as an experiment if nothing else). Though, like with Mr. Chemistry.com, there wasn’t even an inkling of actual chemistry.
But still, we had a nice night and he’s already asked me out for a well planned (and really awesome) 2nd date. And so I’ll see.
The third date was last night and very different than the first two. First off, I should say that I really wasn’t all that excited about meeting this guy. It was more – something I felt I should do. Not that he didn’t seem awesome. But he was awesome and many years younger than me. The youngest guy I’ve dated in over 5 years, in fact.
That said, we had fun. He’s a smart, funny guy and much cuter than I’d thought he’d be (on the way to the date I was straining to remember what he looked like and couldn’t, not sure what that was about). AND, he was very flirty. More than flirty. There was some actual kissing in the bar and then he walked me towards my apt, holding my hand the whole way. I was somewhat concerned that he’d do something stupid like angle for an invite up to my place, but he didn’t, so points for him on that.
Now, about those kisses. They were nice. Very nice. He’s not a bad kisser. However, I felt absolutely nothing. No weak in the knees, I really like this guy, feeling. Which doesn’t mean I won’t be seeing him again. I have no idea about that. Honestly, I can think of lots of guys I’ve gone out with, who were all kissy/hand-holdy on the first date and then disappeared. I’ve never known what to make of it and I kinda don’t care. My theory is that they were hoping for the invite up, but not so pushy as to ask for it. And when they don’t get it they move on to the next opportunity. Lots of girls in this town, lots of opportunities for one night stands. The way I figure it, he has my number. And I’ll probably say yes if he asks me for a second date.
ACK! I just reread everything I’ve written so far and it’s all sounding rather dreary. YES, none of these guys really did it for me. No swooning. No staying up all night thinking about how much I like someone. But so what? What has swooning gotten me in the past? Seriously?
Yes, I’m rationalizing my lack of feeling for these guys. And in the long run I know that’s not smart. But in the short run, I’m gonna push through anyway. And maybe that will be turn out to be a smart thing. Or it won’t.
Tags: chemistry.com, first date, second date, shy, younger men