A long, long time ago I remember having a conversation with a friend. I honestly can’t remember who I was talking to, but I remember what we both said.
She, “I fuck who I want to fuck. I don’t get into this whole boyfriend thing.” Now mind you, this was way back in the 90s, before anyone was talking about “hook-up culture” (a phrase that still kinda makes me giggle).
Me, “I need to want to do more than fuck a guy. I need to want to sleep with him. If I don’t like a guy enough to spend the whole night with him, then I figure I probably shouldn’t be having sex with him.”
Well, I gotta be honest, my thinking on this has certainly changed in the many years since I had that conversation. Now, I find myself a lot more likely to enter a new relationship in stages. I date. And after a few dates, if I’m feeling it, I have sex with a guy. But very rarely do we spend the night together the first time. I’d say less than about 80% of the time.
I just don’t let myself get that invested. Or comfortable. Even if he’s all into it.
Go ahead, add this to my list of defects. I’ve got some walls. Defenses.
Anyway, I’d like to know about you. Do you feel comfortable getting up and leaving (or tossing someone out)? Or do you stay the night, right from the beginning of the relationship?
Tags: guy, poll, relationship, sex