He asked how I was doing and I told him that I was finally feeling better and almost unpacked and fully settled in to the new apartment.
He asked about my dating/sex life and I told him the truth. My sex life was a mixed blessing (great sex occasionally, with the same fb as always) and that I hadn’t had a date in ages. It’s the longest I’ve gone dateless in years, and it’s feeling like too long. Like I need to get back out there. Now.
I asked him lots of questions about him, too. But his story is his story.
He sensed, from my tone, that I was feeling a little down. Which, I guess, I was/am. Truth is, I’ve been feeling a little lonely lately. Or maybe it’s not lonely. Maybe it’s unfulfilled. All of this pushing and doing and… it’s feeling a bit empty.
Heck, maybe I’m feeling lonely and unfulfilled.
Or too exhausted to feel anything other than tired?
So he said, “The last time we spoke you were sick, work wasn’t going so well, things were still up in the air about your apt and you hadn’t gotten laid in ages. Now you’re healthy, work is good, you’re all moved in to your new home and you got laid last night. Sounds like progress to me.”
He had a point.
I am and will always be the chick who pushes harder. Who wants more. Not so much from others. It’s frightening, just how little effort I’ve been willing to settle for in the past. But I have a tendency to want more from my life and myself. Always. And sometimes I forget to take a quick step back and appreciate what I have.
So this is me, on a groggy Monday morning, trying.
Tags: apartment, date, friends, lonely, sex, work