So the other day I was taking a twitter break and saw this tweet from @TresSugar – Question of the day: What would you do if you discovered your boyfriend still had an online dating profile?
Been there, done that. *Giant sigh*
For me, it was confirmation that the man I was in love with was NOT the man I thought he was.
Things were already going poorly. Suddenly, freakishly bad. And I was banging my head against the wall trying to figure out why. What could be the matter?
And yes, I was foolish enough to ask. Because when someone suddenly changes their behavior towards me, my instinct will always be to communicate. To question. To try to fix things.
When, as I was told (like millions of women and men are told every day) that everything was fine I went through a process of elimination. What could be NOT FINE? And then one day it hit me, check to see if he has an active online dating profile.
And there it was. Active. VIP Premium membership. Checked within the past 24 hours.
Everything was fine. Except for that.
So why am I telling this story? It’s not just me babbling about how some asshat did me wrong. Believe me, I get tired of those stories. The story is, in my way, my reaction to the question.
I didn’t really need to find that account. Or hear his stories about why it still existed or how he really wasn’t using it. The online dating account was just confirmation of what I already knew. That the relationship was over. And it was time to move on.
Not that I realized it at the time. Nope.
What did I really do, when I discovered my boyfriend had an active online dating account (VIP membership, checked within the past 24 hours). I listened to his ridiculous story about how he’d prepaid for a year. And had just coincidentally looked at it the day before because they kept sending him email. Out of curiosity.
I listened. And I tried to believe. And I let the relationship linger in sadness for a while longer. Because like millions of other men and women, I don’t always like to see what’s so obviously in front of my face.
It sounds like such an easy question. With such an easy answer. You find out the guy you’re dating is (probably) deceiving you and/or cheating. Dump him.
It wasn’t so easy for me.
PS Day 3 without sleep. Sorry about the babbling.
Update: On Feb. 15, a group of writers (the self-proclaimed Insomniacs Club) posted stories/replies on this theme. I’ll be updating this post as they continue to post their thoughts.
Tags: #insomniaclub, asshat, bad ex-boyfriend, online dating profiles