Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Last Time You Had Sex It Was_______????

So yesterday, I reposted an old post (still having issues with writers block). It was one of last year’s Top Ten most popular posts and one I’d thought about recently.

And, sure enough, there were some people who felt the need to tell me that my problem is that should never be separated from love and compassion.  *sigh*

As always, I find that kind of crap tiresome.  And yes, I called it crap. And tiresome.  I know that sex that happens within a great and loving relationship can be wonderful. And sex that happens for the sole purpose of having awesome sex (with someone you don’t give a damn about) can also be wonderful.

Wonderful in a different way (than sex with someone you’re in love with).

But I’d never try to convince someone who only wants to have sex as part of a loving relationship that they should have casual sex. To each his own and all that.

Yet, without fail, a week doesn’t go by that I’m not on the receiving end of another random rant about what a damaged and horrible person I am. It would annoy me more if I didn’t find it so funny.

Anyway, this leads me to today’s post. I’m curious about YOU. Not what you think. What you’ve done. Lately. Or at least, most recently.

The last time I had sex it was with someone who...

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25 to “The Last Time You Had Sex It Was_______????”

  1. Roxie says:

    If memory serves my last was a man with whom I guess I was dating but did not want to admit that I was dating. I’d known him for years, but I didn’t know he was crazy, and even before I felt done with him I couldn’t say we were developing a relationship because I had the “ick” factor throughout. shudder, just remembering . . . ew ick why? . . .And the very last time was more of a f-buddy situation (in my mind, if not his) But seriously, ick. Then I couldn’t get rid of him. Oh man, I did not need this walk down memory lane. ick shudder I was coming out of a marriage and forced myself to “get out there” — ick, completely freaked out now. I haven’t dated since. what was I thinking? ew ew ew ew ew You know that little voice in your head? listen to it . ew ew ew ew ew

  2. C. Fassett says:

    Thought for the day: Cobwebs.

    (if waiting for love and compassion to show up)
    C. Fassett recently posted..Lighten Up- FrancisMy Profile

  3. Princess says:

    Last time I had sex with someone that Ive know for 8yrs, Finally sat down with him and told him “its not personal just business” been the best Ive had, no strings, no calling the next day or 5 mins later txting…lol Been going on for almost 2 yrs now.

  4. em says:

    last time i had sex was two months ago with my “friend”
    ..we said no obligation, no stres, no feelings…
    after sex part he stop talking with me…we were dating in college and know each other for six years… when i ask what’s the problem he said that we don’t have one and continue ignoring me…i’m mad on myself…
    what kind of world is this?…you cant find disent fuck-buddy anymore…
    p.s sorry for my english <3

  5. Vanni says:

    Two months ago. Casual. We won’t be going “there” anymore though. I’m ready for something more in my life. No regrets!

  6. 2 weeks ago. Casual. He’d learned some new tricks since the last time we’d gotten together 😉
    Angelina JoLoveless recently posted..You Amuse Me- Young ManMy Profile

  7. Kelly says:

    Casual, about a month ago, with someone I was dating but had already decided I would not pursue things further than they had gone (but wasn’t quite ready to end things altogether). Read some of the comments on the other post, and they are disgusting. Why do people think everyone else’s experiences are exactly like theirs, and that others should therefore conform to what works well for them? Not tolerating that shit from people would cure a lot of ills in the world, I tell you what.

  8. secretsquirrel says:

    I have been seeing the same guy for well over a year. He’s 28, I’m 41. It is strictly casual. We have great sex and great fun, but our “relationship” is a dead end. We don’t see each other outside the bedroom. Right now, we are on a hiatus because he met a girl a few weeks ago and he wants to see where it goes. We’ve both done that…called a halt to the bedroom games as we explore real dating type things in our lives. I can keep the two distinctly separate.

  9. it was literally the longest time ago. wayyyy longer than i would like to admit in real life let alone the internet.

    he was 22 (i was 28) and we were casual.. of course i was wayy more into him than I shouldve been – he was damn hot!

    • and now i can update my previous response.

      It was casual.
      I’m into him more than he is into me.. though we are both in it for the sex because really – i don’t even want him for any more than that. So what am I saying? Hell – who knows?!

      Though I keep thinking.. for a booty call 45 minutes away I’m going to need at least an hour of head. :)
      theromanticrealist recently posted..SOCSunday – a creature of habitMy Profile

  10. The last person I had sex with was the guy who broke my heart. Which is cool; cause I write about him now. :)

    Hopefully, nothing’s changed and I’ll remember how to do it when my turn comes up again…
    Girl’s Got Shine recently posted..Rule BookMy Profile

  11. Amanda Talar says:

    Ha! Well said. Casual sex, madly-in-love sex, friends-with-benefits sex, whatever. I simply think everyone should experience every kind of sex there is to experience, at least once.

    Take that how you will. :)
    Amanda Talar recently posted..A single girl’s rant- AttractionMy Profile

  12. Philipa says:

    I’m not explaining on the internet. Hahaaaa no way 😀

    No animals were harmed though.

  13. lola4473 says:

    Saturday. With someone that we’ve had a “mostly sex-only” casual thing for about 8 months now. Sadly, I am falling for him and will have to end it soon.

  14. Charlotte says:

    Less than two weeks ago. Completely casual and VERY proud of it! I feel we all really need to loosen up a bit as a society. There is nothing wrong with engaging in sex with a friend/casual acquaintance as long as both parties are willing.

    Great post, girl!

  15. C says:

    I’m very open about how I feel about casual sex – yes, please! I’m with you – it gets old hearing that a woman being okay with casual sex is a damaged or immoral woman. There’s nothing like the thrill for me of knowing that my sexuality is entirely mine and utilizing that in whatever way I choose. The last sex I had was with something I was casually seeing. I will admit, though, that the only times I’ve had incredible sex were with people I was having a lot of sex with, often – ie, in relationships with. I’m determined there’s a man out there that can do casual, and do it WELL, though. :)

  16. AF says:

    You may think you’re suffering from “writers block”, but I think that’s a great post (not that I expect a distant male’s view to matter much to you, but I still think it’s worth saying).

    People have sex for all sorts of reasons and just wanting pleasure is one of them.

    Additionally, some people (the majority being men, I’m ashamed to admit) are nothing like as good at sex as they think they are and a genuinely “no strings” night in the sack means both they and you can simply put a bad session down to “incompatibility” and move on without hurting anyone’s feelings.
    AF recently posted..You’ve Been Conned- Honey!My Profile

  17. Sandyvs says:

    last time was with FWB. We’re really good friends that care a lot about each other, but we both know that we don’t want to be in a serious relationship with each other. We take breaks when one of us does get into a serious relationship. Win/win.

  18. Random says:

    6 months ago. I’ve only had relationship sex. I’m a guy so I usually only get laid like once a year. It’s tough, gotta compete with all the other guys to get laid, pretty much anywhere there are girls they will be lining up running constant game. I’m hotter than most guys but also more shy. I think it would be great to be a girl because then you could just do casual things. I tried asking a girl once if she just wanted to sleep with me but she just looked offended. So I usually just try to express interest in girls and do classic dating stuff. But it isn’t really that bad. Porn is pretty satisfying and I’m sure I could improve my game if I just went on lots of dates and fine tuned stuff.

  19. Tay says:

    Last time I had sex, was with my ex. Used to love him, but getting over all of that. But I needed some sex, and I guess he did too.

  20. Elizabeth says:

    My ex… and I can’t remember it being memorable
    Elizabeth recently posted..From Baller to Borrower- Low-rolling in MiamiMy Profile

  21. Jasmine says:

    I think both are okay. I personally haven’t had a one night stand though, because I always seem to get into relationships – or at least a few dates.
    Jasmine recently posted..How Long Does it Take to Fall in LoveMy Profile

  22. jewels says:

    When it comes to sex, I say go for it. One day we’ll all be old and grey and I don’t think anyone is going to be sitting around saying “I wish I wouldn’t have boned him…”
    jewels recently posted..IvyDate- Less Obnoxious Than a Winklevoss TwinMy Profile

  23. ttrer says:

    I’ve never had any sexual experiences whatsoever, so I answered “Other”.

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