I had a flashback, the other day, of a truly awful date. Let me say that again, a truly AWFUL date. It was a brunch date, a double date, at a popular brunch spot to which I can never return. The restaurant is ruined for me now.
But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.
There’s a back-story here. And it’s really all about the back-story.
I used to be really pro set-up. I went through this phase (in my early to mid 30s, I guess) where it seemed like everyone I knew was a part of a couple. And suddenly I was odd woman out. So one of the ways I coped with this (other than lots of online dating) was to tell my friends that if they knew any single guys…
And there was my big mistake. I was way too unspecific. I’m sure I implied that they should set me up with guys I’d actually have things in common with. Guys I’d like. But, I probably didn’t SAY THAT. I probably said, “do you know any nice single guys.” Or something wishy-wishy like that.
The result of which was a series of extremely painful set-ups. With extremely inappropriately men. Guys who, it’s important to note, didn’t like me any more than I liked them.
It was as if our friends decided that all I needed was A MAN. Any single man would do. And all they needed was a woman. Any single woman would do. Because, you know, it was time we all joined the couple club.
So, back to this date. An old college friend tells me that her husband has a good friend who’s newly single and they’d like to set us up. I foolishly did not ask a lot of questions (I probably got name and age). She suggests that we all meet for brunch that weekend. It sounded easy and pleasant enough, so I said yes.
Like I said, great brunch spot. Amazing food, good prices. Haven’t been back since. I’m weird like that.
Turns out, the guy was still living with said ex. In another city. And massively depressed/angry about their uber-messy break-up (and trying to figure out where he was going to live). And he was a jackass. Maybe not always. Maybe in different circumstances he’s an awesome guy. But that day he was a jackass. I recall a bizarre sports related argument that went from friendly to nasty in about 2 minutes. I believe there might have been some name-calling. Not by me. Note: I am a serious sports fan and will not back down from my opinions. Girls like sports, too.
The worst part, the very painful worst part, was his telling his buddy on the way out that I wasn’t hot enough. Loud enough for me to hear. Because, I guess, he thought I was auditioning for him. And he wanted me to know that I’d failed.
My friend called after brunch and apologized. She thought I’d be “good for him”. I had no idea what that meant. I still don’t.
Anyway, I stopped being so enthusiastic about set-ups after that. Not that I’m completely closed to the idea. But I’m pretty special and I’m not going to waste any more time (or potential humiliation) going out with guys who I’m paired with because they’re male, straight and available. I’d rather eat brunch alone. Forever.
Tags: 30, brunch, friends, guy, matchmaker, single