To keep me focused and emotionally stable, I’ve started to look forward to an end of week lunch at one of my new favorite restaurants, which shall remain nameless (because I don’t want the place to become any more crowded than it is). Anyway, it’s less crowded at lunch time and has unfuckingbelievable lunch specials, so a couple times in recent weeks I’ve scheduled my week around taking an afternoon off for a yummy lunch there.
So why am I going on and on about this?
2 things, I guess. The first one really has nothing to do with my original idea for this post. I’ve always found there is immeasurable benefit (to my mental and emotional health) in having something concrete to look forward to. So this Friday I’m going to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants. And (just to give you another example) I’ve made plans with a friend to go to one of my favorite places in the world, this summer. For a couple of weeks. Not sure how I’m going to swing it. But I have a while to figure it out. And all those months of looking forward to it.
Anyway, like I said, that’s not really what this post is about. Just thought I’d share.
The restaurant in question happens to be a short walk from Economy Candy. Economy Candy, let me count the ways… if you’re a New Yorker and don’t know about this place, I’m pretty sure you’ve been living under a rock. It’s the mecca for all sugar fiends. The place that Willy Wonka would go to first, on a visit to NYC. It’s freaking heaven.
Now… as I’ve mentioned here. I have self-control issues when it comes to candy. So I DON’T usually let myself go near the place. Well, not inside. Usually, as I walk past (or within a 3 block radius) I feel a strong tug. And I resist. Because I know that no good can come of me going there.
But a couple weeks ago I couldn’t resist. I’d gone to lunch at the place I love, with my dear friend The Liquortarian, and afterwards as we walked past Economy Candy I just stopped. Dead in my tracks. I asked him if he’d go inside with me and pull me out after 5 minutes. It didn’t work out exactly like that.
I went on a mini-buying spree. The Liquortarian helped to keep me in line by following me around the store (which made me realize how crazy I was being) and I left spending less that $25. Which might sound like a lot, but I could easily spent 10 times that in that place. I love my candy.
Anyway, I went heavy on the retro-candy. Pop Rocks and Laughy Taffy. Things I haven’t even thought about for decades. I also got some current faves… marzipan, gin-gins
Here’s what I discovered: Pop Rocks and Laughy Taffy are NOTHING like I remembered. Not a damn thing. Not the taste or the texture or… the feeling of eating them. The joy I thought they’d bring me had nothing to do with the actual candy. Just this vague sense that I liked them as a kid and so they must be awesome.
Wait, wait… NO. This isn’t an, “There’s a reason s/he’s an ex.” post. First off, I don’t believe in that shit. Relationships end. Usually for really good reasons. But if any individual feels the need to rethink their decisions, I’m not going to give them shit for it. Lord knows I’ve walked those paths myself (never with good results, but I survived and came out stronger).
None of us have total recall. Certainly not for visceral experiences. We can think we remember how something or someone made us feel. But truth is, we really can’t. Not exactly. Time changes things. Time changes everything.
Some of us are smart enough to recognize this and flow with it. To try to learn and grow. Allow our own tastes to change (I seriously can’t believe I used to love Laughy Taffy, that shit is nasty). And some people just seem stuck. Holding on to the past.
Not trying to be profound or anything. The Pop Rocks were talking to me.
Tags: exes, memory