Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

You Don’t Have To Sleep With Him

It was maybe 15 years ago. More or less.  Whatever. It was a big, festive occasion. A party that drew members from 3 boroughs and the burbs.

Most everyone was on their best behavior. People were getting along, or sitting far from the relatives they just couldn’t deal with.

At some point I was making the rounds with my mom. It was her side of the family and I could never remember everyone’s name (my always has been shit). One of her cousins asked me about my love life. Even then, when I was so much younger, that was pretty much all anyone wanted to know. No questions about my career. Just, When am I getting married?

The timing was bad. I’d just broken up with a boyfriend. An extraordinaire. And my mom was pissed about it. She was in love with him. Or rather, the idea of him. He met all of her criteria (for the perfect son in law) and then some. He was a doctor and he was handsome. That was pretty much all she needed to know. His personality/character was irrelevant. How could I possibly break up with a handsome doctor? Was I brain damaged?

Which is what my mother said when her cousin asked about my love life.  And she went on and on.  I’m sure it just lasted a couple of minutes, but in my memory it was a long tirade. Until her (older, wiser) cousin interrupted her. It was awesome.

First, she called my mom by her childhood nickname. Then she said, “Look, you don’t have to sleep with him.” And that was that. My life, my decision.

My mom never brought the guy up again. Well, for the rest of the night.


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5 to “You Don’t Have To Sleep With Him”

  1. Tallulah says:

    Wow it’s weird you’re from New York and your mother had such “issues” with who you are or you’re not dating. Usually Greek mothers do that… I should know that much. Are you sure you’re not Greek? 😛
    Tallulah recently posted..Fear factorsMy Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      Ha! New Yorkers can be some of the most provincial people you’ve ever met. It’s a city of a thousand small towns. My mother had very set ideas about my life was supposed to be. She softened as I got older and she realized she was out of luck. But it was a struggle.

  2. barnett says:

    Thats good your mom’s cousin did that…

    Its a shame how parents can immature like little kids (not saying your mom is immature lol), but your cousin was right for it is your choice and I believe you made a good one. Just because someone that has the career and looks of an ideal mate does not make that certain person RIGHT for you…
    barnett recently posted..Love vs. LustMy Profile

  3. David says:

    Thats pretty funny too me. My mother just acted the same way when i dumped my ex.
    She just couldnt see that she was acting just like her. I think my mother, was simply blinded by the shinny lawyer high heeled shoes. And of course she had already put in my mother’s head her desire to have kids with me. My mom saw an aura around my Santa Angelina. Beautiful, successful but what a bitch to live with and wake up next to. So I dumped her like she dumped the dishes in the sink. Dirty. At least to my mother’s eyes. Nevertheless, dumping her gave the james Bond in me another go.
    David recently posted..How To Get Him Back: What Men Find Attractive In A WomanMy Profile

  4. I feel for you. But I’m sure that one day you’ll meet the right partner for you and at the same time an ideal son of law for your mother. And then everything will end with a happily ever after.
    Dating Bullet recently posted..Don’t Count on What She Claims She Wants in MenMy Profile