Did I ever tell you about the time I called a matchmaker? No, I’m pretty sure I haven’t.
I was 34. I know that because I remember exactly where I was sitting when I made the call. I was having lunch at my desk, in my new temporary office, at a new job. It was a “temporary” office while they fixed up my new, almost fabulous corner office with a stunning view down Park Avenue. Almost fabulous because the heat didn’t work right and it took 3 space heaters to make the room bearable during the winter months. I’m sure there’s a metaphor there.
Anyway, I have a very distinct memory of the call, and everything that surrounded it. I’d just finished a few months on eharmony and it was disastrous. So, I was feeling low. Not just because eharmony was a failure for me, but because I couldn’t understand what was wrong. It was my 3rd dip into online dating. The first couple of times (on different sites)I’d met guys right away. Nice, decent guys who were nice, decent boyfriends. Not the loves of my life, but… I guess I wasn’t sad about that.
So I was back in the pool and coming up empty. And frustrated. I’d tried match and eharmony and nerve and nada. I was starting to think I needed to do something more radical. Then one day during my first weeks at the new gig I decided to take a couple of minutes during my lunch hour to do a little research and I came up with the brilliant idea to call a matchmaker. To stop goofing off with the online dating and get serious.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After chatting for a couple of minutes I was invited in the next day for a meeting/interview. And I immediately panicked. I told the woman on the other end of the phone that I was just calling for info and wasn’t ready to commit to anything. And she said,
“Do you want to get married?”
Now, I realize that that’s probably part of her pitch. And that most of the people she speaks with say, YES. Of course they want to get married.
But I realized that my answer wasn’t YES. It was maybe.
If everything fit into place. If, if , if, if…. That being single was kinda awesome. And I actually liked being married to my career. So I took her number and told her that I’d call back. Maybe. And I never did.
I know some single people who hate being single. Who, when asked that question would say, YES!!!! YES, PLEASE!!!! Who spend most of their waking moments dreaming about not being single anymore. I also know some married folks who are in miserable marriages. Don’t we all?
Not everyone has the life they want. Sucks. It’s like, the more choices we have, the harder it is for each of us to get where we belong. Or some nonsense like that.
I started writing this post a while ago, after reading some random nonsense about no-good, godless, selfish single people. How dare we not fall in line and live by society’s rules? Not something directed specifically at me. Just some random post bouncing around on the webz.
Then I was reminded about this half-written post when I read this over the weekend.
Hell is other people. Seriously.
Tags: Eharmony, Match, matchmaker