Today’s guest post is by Kristen Nicole, dating coach and author of “The Single’s Survival Kit”, at ScrewtheSingleLife.com. She helps pull lonely singles out of their rut, and introduces them to real romance.
My Ex-Hookup T-Shirt Collection
I just finished taking a morning after shower with this guy I met last night. I’m standing in a towel, staring at the clothes I wore the night before. All of the sudden, my Levi’s, sequined tank, and four-inch stilettos don’t look so appealing. But in the corner, I see a shining beacon of light: his old high school football tee. “Hey, do you think I could borrow this?” I shimmy it on before he can respond.
Why are we so addicted to wearing guy’s clothing? Sure, we love how it smells-as long as it’s clean. And on a fat day there’s nothing better than wearing a shirt three sizes too big. But beyond this, does owning a piece of a man’s wardrobe really make us feel more secure?
Absolutely. We love the feeling of commitment. All of the sudden, he thinks our belly rolls are cute, and we don’t quite mind when his armpits stink. In our minds, that football tee is our one-way ticket to happiness.
But stop thinking in terms of happily ever after. In his head, he loves seeing you strut around in his oversized tee and your boy short undies. He doesn’t look at you wearing his tee shirt and think “forever and a day”. He thinks “what a great lay”. Eventually, we are forced to face this awful realization. And trust me, I did.
Two weeks ago, he gave me his shirt, and now he’s dating the scantily clad aerobics instructor at my gym. And to top it all off, he has the nerve to call me and ask for his favorite shirt back. What did I do?
The next time I went to that gym, I wore his shirt. I worked out like I never have before. I made sure that shirt was drenched with every ounce of my hard earned sweat. When the thrill of the gym thing started to get old, I retired that shirt to my dirty rag pile. I scrubbed my smelly garbage can and cleaned my toilet bowl with that shirt. And then, I returned it.
In the beginning, we wear a guy’s tee because it makes us hear wedding bells. But once we realize he was anything but committed, we wreak havoc on his wardrobe. If we can’t make him suffer, damaging his favorite tee is the next best thing. Three holes, four bleach spots, and two pit stains later, I was definitely over him. And revenge never felt so good.