Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

What If?

Hey kids, remember me?

I have no excuses. Just a bunch of half assed, half finished posts. I just haven’t had my head in the right place for sharing.

And this one’s gonna be short. I think. But then, I haven’t written it yet…

There’s this theme that keeps popping up. In my life, the lives of my friends, all over the web. It’s a biggie. But rather than jump straight to the rather obvious theme, I’d rather share a few short examples:

A woman works hard and after years of struggle she gets the job of her dreams. She loves her job and she’s damn good at it. The job is her life. Until it isn’t. Because the job disappears. And she can’t find another one.

Two people meet and they fall in love. Madly and deeply. Things are good for years and years. They build a family, a home… And then one of them decides the love is gone and leaves.

Guy gets a good job. Meets the love of his life and gets married. They buy a house. And then he gets an even better job. And a better house. And nice cars, a vacation home. Sweet life. What if he’s miserable?

What if you did everything you thought you were supposed to do and it didn’t matter?

Isn’t that the norm?

When did we all become brainwashed into thinking that things were “supposed to work out”? There is no supposed to?


I’ve been wandering around my life for the past many months, trying (pretending) to not feel sorry for myself. Mostly, I’ve just been utterly confused. How could things turn out to be such a spectacular failure? How could my body be so utterly fucked up? Not so much wallowing in self pity but rather trying to figure out the HOW of it all. Because I tried so hard to get things right.  Things were supposed to work out, you see…

Wow, this was going to be a short post.

So, what if? What if things don’t go your way. Even if you worked hard and blah blah blah. What if? Well then, I suppose you’re in the majority.


6 to “What If?”

  1. Sue says:

    I spent months wondering this after my divorce. I did everything “right” so how did everything go so incredibly wrong? I finally learned that life can’t be lived according to expectations or plans or a to-do list. But I struggle to remember that “how” and “why” are sometimes just questions we’re not meant to have answered.
    Sue recently posted..Thirty Days of Me: Day Twenty SixMy Profile

  2. Gigi says:

    This is so timely. Thank you.

  3. Glad to see you here – as always.
    For every “they lived happily ever after” there is “they had some disease and finally died.”
    Ok- was that uplifting? No?
    My good friend, made millions, nice guy, pretty wife, nice son — headache- brain tumor – spent a couple million running to Duke – got great care – lived over five years (longest lasting with that tumor in Duke’s series) – wife left him, he died a miserable death (I was there).
    Some of us are lucky to have little bright spots in our life for a brief period of time.
    When I was in Canada, my son choked on some brocoli. I got it out (was ready to do a tracheostomy) – that night it hit me — in a second I could have lost my son. It could still happen, although chances are I will go first. But my son is my bright spot – and as long as he is around I’m going to bask in that and not get too upset when people tell me how I should raise him.
    You are a bright spot too- enjoy it now.
    All too soon it all ends- but that isn’t the point – and never was the point of how you lived for a while. Now get back to it- the body changes, the brain changes – but sometimes there is that bright spot –

  4. dildo says:

    Oh this is so true some people look at my life and say boy you have it made but looked at as man im not were i want to be. I just gave up and handed it to God and said im not going to mope i dont care anymore thinks changed after that.