I’ve often joked that the recently separated/divorced men I’ve dated seem to be going through a second adolescence. After years of marriage, they embrace their newfound freedoms and well… sometimes act like teenagers.
But this post isn’t about them.
Nope, this is about me and my own second adolescence (or maybe it’s my 3rd or 4th?).
When I think of my teenage years, the first thing that comes to mind is overwhelming insecurity. Mostly over my appearance but more likely over everything. How I looked, what I said, where I went, what I listened to. I was always in my head, worrying that I wasn’t good enough. And then, at some point in 30s (better late than never) I finally grew out of it. Learned to like myself and all that shit.
But lately… I seem to be back to living with that extreme self-doubt. I know it has a lot to do with the changes in my appearance. And the collateral affect that’s had on my life (because people do treat you different when you look differently, even people you know). I walk into a room and it feels different now. Maybe it shouldn’t. But it does.
I gotta say, I’m really not diggin it. This phase, or whatever it is. It’s been going on for way too long. And it’s eating up way too much of my energy. What a freakin waste.No tags for this post.