Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Yes, I’m Really Excited About This

Weirdest intro ever. Just saying. In advance.

I live in my head.

OK. I live in a smallish one bedroom apartment in Manhattan. Alone. And I work at home. Alone. That’s my physical reality. But really, I live IN. MY. HEAD.

All that alone time doesn’t spell loneliness. Not so much. I’ve mastered the alone without being lonely thing. What it does spell is me sometimes fixating on things, usually negative things. And then holding on to those thoughts forever. For EVER.

Which is why it’s important for me to get outside perspectives and force myself to get out and do things that might make me uncomfortable. Even though the little voice in my head is saying mean things. Because the little voice in my head is full of shit. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s smart but it’s not the only opinion in the whole damn world.

And so… not so smooth segue…  I was so freaking excited to hear about these new events that is organizing called Stir Events. Because I haven’t been getting out much. Haven’t been dating at all. This is actually the longest I’ve gone dateless in… ??? Too damn long.  And I miss it. But I want to try something new. I’m so over online dating (for now), speed dating makes my skin crawl (sorry but it does) and most events are poorly produced and/or aimed at youngins.

I think it’s cool that .com is entering the events space.  They’re the largest dating site, with millions of members and they’re diving in with both feet. This month alone, they’re throwing 189 events in more than 62 markets!  That’s millions of people who’ll have the opportunity to meet. They’ll be doing interest-based events such as cooking classes, wine and tequila tastings, dance lessons, bowling nights… hell, there’s gotta be a couple/few I’d like to attend coming up soon in NYC.  And, if I just want to go low-key and check out a happy hour, they’re doing happy hour events that are free and open to both registered and subscribed members.

My favorite thing about this – each Stir event is customized through a group matching algorithms in terms of age, gender and interests so that singles will be attending events with like singles. So we’ll be somewhat pre-sorted by demographics. Which makes me very happy for 2 big reasons. 1) All the men in the room will theoretically be interested in dating women in their early 40s. 2) Unlike online dating, no one will see my age at first glance and so guys might have a chance to talk to me before deciding I’m “too old.” They can choose to reject me for some other reason.

Anyway, like I said, I really am psyched. I’ve probably left out a bunch of the important details. You can learn more about the Stir Events and sign up online under the Events tab on the homepage.  I plan on attending one (or more) soon and so I’ll tell you how it goes.

Tags: ,

10 to “Yes, I’m Really Excited About This”

  1. dill says:

    age is only a number im sure you will meet a good man that will love you for you no matter what your age is. Men get old to and they need someone to grow old with

  2. Screw… Seriously. The purpose of is to keep people single so the company can continue to receive revenue. The dating advice they give is guaranteed to keep people single.
    The Private Man recently posted..Men – The Gatekeepers To Commitment (Long Post)My Profile

  3. Melissa says:

    Thanks for the post – very timely!! I’ve noticed quite a few Match events commercials lately, and there’s been quite a bit of talk in the GirlsAskGuys community as well.

    There are many reasons that this is a great initiative that Match is putting into place, but I believe the main one is that it’s centered around the individual who may not be ready to jump into the world of online dating.

    Let’s face it – for those of us who have not tried online dating, it’s a tad bit scary. But this is a way to just dip your toe in, and get a feel for the Match experience. You said it best – “low-key” and “happy hour” – these are non-threatening concepts that I think most of us can get on board with.

    Do you have any tips for these events? What to wear, what to say, how to approach, go with friends, etc.? I look forward to your follow-up. 😉


  4. Dr. Joe says:

    Relationship could get ugly, stupid and such, but there is a way out. There is also a way to detact how to bypass…

    Love the posts,

    Dr. Joe

  5. Brie Bennett says:

    Keep us posted! I think it would be a good PR strategy of some coffee shops, gyms, bars, etc. had singles hours when only single people show up. There has to be a better way than online dating!

  6. Rose says:

    Shill, baby, shill it!!

  7. date safe says:

    Showing up in events is indeed a great way for single people to meet. Enjoy and keep us posted! :)

  8. John Daniels says:

    Challenging Relationship Questions…
     Am I with the right person? Are we compatible… or “mismatched”?
     Is my partner my best friend? Do I look forward to “growing old” with him/her? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person?
     Am I really emotionally connected with my partner?
     Can I really listen to the advice of friends/relatives regarding my relationship? Do they really understand my relationship?
     Am I really in love or was I /am I just temporarily insane?
     Should I break up for several months to sort things out?
     Is my relationship “fixable”, or do I drop the keys and walk away?
     Are we really transparent? Do we really know what the other is thinking?
     I often leap before I look. Is my relationship another example of impulse?
     Do I stay in my relationship because I feel guilty about leaving it?
     Is our relationship “one-sided”? … only one person really loves the other?
     Am I lonely while in a steady relationship?
     Am I in a rut, unable to break away from a stagnant relationship?
     Do I picture him being a great dad… or her being a great mom?
     He/she really meets my “checklist criteria” … but does that necessarily lead to a rewarding, fulfilling relationship in future years?
    Source: Am I in a “croppable” relationship?

  9. I actually just wrote an article about this on my blog. It hasn’t published yet so you won’t find it, but Stir events are a great way to meet new people. Match.Com in my opinion is on top of its game moreso than any site. Any new outlets to meet new people is always a positive and these stir events are creating tremendous opportunities.
    Joshua Pompey recently posted..7 Tips For Picking Up Women On HalloweenMy Profile

  10. Steve says:

    God, I hate it when thoughts just bounce around in there. anyway… segue. These events sound like a really god way to meet people.
    Steve recently posted..Killer Online Dating Tips For MenMy Profile