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Deserve’s Got Nothing To With It

I guess I shouldn’t admit this, but I haven’t made much of an effort to keep up with my online life, lately.  That’s an understatement. It would be closer to say that I’ve done a piss-poor job of it. Days go by and I don’t read email (from personal/blog-related accounts) or check twitter//etc.

I’ve just been refocusing my energies.  Making sure I keep up with work and have some kind of real-world life.

So when I took a couple of minutes, earlier today, to check in with my facebook fanpage, it was the first time in a while.  There I was (not) surprised to see this, posted to my wall (with a message that I “do too”).

It was meant with love and kindness, I’m sure. The way that all insipid quotes and mottos posted to facebook are meant with very best of intentions. I shouldn’t have given it much thought.

But I did. Because it’s one of those meaning-to-be-kind sentiments that really piss me off. Everybody deserves somebody… DESERVES

Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.


18 to “Deserve’s Got Nothing To With It”

  1. I don’t know if I would use the word “deserves” I would probably say instead have the opportunity. I know of a few people that I would say not so kind of a word.
    Demetrios Kehagias recently posted..Music Moves the SoulMy Profile

  2. sandyvs says:

    THIS is why I love reading your blog. If I’d seen this comment on any site, I would have just gone, ‘Pfft’! and moved on or deleted. I just don’t think anyone deserves anything. Then again, I would never subscribe to a ‘spiritually thinking’ blogspot, either. I’m more a ‘realistically thinking’ person.

  3. Matt says:

    I’ve been reading you for a long time and this is the first time I have really disagreed with one of your posts.

    It just makes you seem cynical, even when I know you’re not.

    Sure, not everyone deserves this. Like, does a serial killer deserve someone to make them look forward to tomorrow? No. But come on, it’s what we all want, right? And we are (mostly) good people, no?

    Maybe I’m too humanistic but I just think, to hate something like this is being cynical.

    • Simone Grant says:


      I probably am a bit cynical, but I don’t think that’s what this is about. As Sandy said, I don’t believe anyone deserves anything. I believe that sometimes good things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people and that the law of attraction is load of crap. Life happens. We can work towards what we want and hope like hell. But the outcomes are somewhat random. Deserve doesn’t enter into the equation.

      AND, I get distressed (mildly) when people say things like, “everybody deserves someone” because it offers 2 assumptions: 1) that having someone in your life is the only desired outcome for all humans. 2) that anyone who doesn’t have that someone is not “deserving.” Both are assertions I reject.

  4. Rose says:

    Talk about having a nasty attitude!! Why don’t you work up some of the pep you have when are writing your shill!! …. Just for the record, how did those Stir events go? Still excited by them?!?

    • Simone Grant says:

      Nasty? Gimme a break. And just for the record, I haven’t been healthy enough to get out much (as I’ve written about). I am still looking forward to those events. When I can…

  5. VJ says:

    Of course pets can and do serve the same function. And for many people too. VJ

  6. Karen B says:

    Quite right – why wouldn’t anyone deserve someone that makes them look forward to tomorrow? We all need to feel loved and wanted, just how we get it is down to us!

  7. Interesting. I think how one reacts to this post often reflects their mood in life at the current time. But in reality, does EVERYONE deserve something? Not really. I think you deserve what you put into this world.

  8. I actually completely agree with you here. It implies that those who don’t have somebody clearly are not deserving, and also it makes the assumption that we all WANT somebody… some people are perfectly fine without anyone else! I don’t know that I’d have been pissed, but it would have gotten an eye-roll out of me, that’s for sure. Ha.
    Mallory @ Have Your Cake recently posted..The Levels of Missing SomeoneMy Profile

  9. Edward hill says:

    Yes I agree everybody deserves somebody,and everyone deserves to be happy.Everyone has heard of love at first sight
    Some might say it does not excist but Iam living proof that it does happen.Yes life at times can throw us a curve ball and we get off
    Track,but we bounce back.and keep looking for that special someone.I met my wife in high school and I thought I was in heaven.
    It was love at first sight.We have had our problems but still together after 39 years.

  10. Terry says:

    If the universe worked with what we deserve I would be in trouble. My life has become better the last couple of years, and I didn’t deserve any of it. Does my wife make me happy – well, that’s not where I get my happiness from. I like the companionship, and I’m not always easy to be around – I work too hard, too much, and am too focused. Does my son make me happy – well – yes, he does – and I never wanted kids: but do I deserve that – nope. My son makes me happy because I see the world through his eyes, not because of some great biologic need to have a kid – and being forced to see that world makes me smile. Sometimes we just get lucky. But whenever I have forced it- with relationships, it has never, ever worked out.
    Terry recently posted..Myth: Candy Makes Your Kids HyperMy Profile

  11. Dan Murray says:

    LOl, you tell them girl. Yeah, it boils my goat when I see shit posted all over my wall to

  12. Adrian GRay says:

    Never give someone all of you at one time; this includes phone conversations and face to face dating. Treat your personal information like a game of poker; never let a person see all your cards at once.

  13. Kim says:


    Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing a fine job.

    You know when you say everybody deserves somebody.. It also reminds me of another saying where there’s always someone doing worse.

    But then again,

    we’re supposed to look up and not down!